the impossible

You can't rule out the impossible because you never know which of your assumptions about what was possible turn out in the real universe to be false -- Orson Scott Card "Ender's Shadow" 

The Last 5 Years

http://longwharf.org/last-five-years

The last five years indeed... The show resonated more so than I would admit. So it seems, things are never simple or straightforward. But still, really, still....

1. "Still Hurting" - Cathy
2. "Shiksa Goddess" - Jamie *Replaced "I Could Be in Love With Someone Like You" from the Chicago production
3. "See I'm Smiling" - Cathy
4. "Moving Too Fast" - Jamie
5. "I'm A Part of That" - Cathy
6. "The Schmuel Song" - Jamie
7. "A Summer in Ohio" - Cathy
8. "The Next Ten Minutes" - Jamie & Cathy
9. "A Miracle Would Happen/When You Come Home to Me" - Jamie/Cathy
10. "Climbing Uphill/Audition Sequence" - Cathy
11. "If I Didn't Believe in You" - Jamie
12. "I Can Do Better Than That" - Cathy
13. "Nobody Needs to Know" - Jamie
14. "Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You" - Jamie & Cathy

"Still Hurting" - Cathy
What about lies, (Jamie)
What about things
That you swore to be true
What about you

Jamie is sure something wonderful died
Jamie decides it's his right to decide
Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide
And I'm still hurting

Go and hide and run away
Run away, run and find something better
Go and ride the sun away
Run away like it's simple
Like it's right...

"If I Didn't Believe in You" - Jamie
Well, then talk to me, Cathy
Talk to me
If I didn't believe in you
We'd never have gotten this far
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are
If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow
THe fact of the matter is, Cathy
I wouldn't be standing here now

"Nobody Needs to Know" - Jamie
Hold on, clip these wings -
Things get out of hand
All right, it's over, it's done
No one will understand
No one will understand...

We build a treehouse
I keep it from shaking
Little more glue every time that it breaks
Perfectly balanced
And then I start making
Conscious, deliberate mistakes

"Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You"
I'm not the only one who's hurting here
I don't know what the hell is left to do
You never saw how far the crack had opened
You never knew I had run out of rope and

I could never rescue you
All you ever wanted
But I could never rescue you
No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you hard
And let you go

No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you
God, I loved you so
So we could fight
Or we could wait
Or I could go...

------

That's when you realize... I realize...

I have no more tears... But layers upon layers upon layers, of sadness.

------

The songs are really good btw; the musical's really good too.. They are making a new film adaptation starring Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan!!

Yale logo vectorized!

There is one here (preview: first one below). But I felt the color was a little washed, so one more here (preview: second below).

Those shown here are, of course, rasterized...

其实伤心无碍, 从此各自精彩

杨宗纬 - 底细

作词：李宗盛 作曲：李剑青

One in a billion

"I don't have to say a word. She just looks at me and sees who I am and how I feel and accepts it. She doesn't try to change it or wants to change it. That person. There's a billion people but I imagine there's only one of her."

-- Owen Hunt to Cristina Yang

"Grey's Anatomy" Season 10, Episode 16, "We gotta get out of this place"

Leaving and learning

Initially I was gonna call this "Another one bites the dust". But I guess my love for alliteration took over; it's less morbid and more pertinent anyway.

With GG finishing his PhD in 3.5 yrs (*envious*) and leaving for London, A is moving back to Singapore, K back to Texas, M is leaving for his dream job in CaliLA, J leaving in a foreseeable future, EK is going off to a faculty position, I thought my life would not be ruffled by goodbyes, at least not for a while. As life has it, LA told me over lunch she is moving with her boss to Philly in a year!

I am sad to say goodbyes. Scared. The feeling of being ditched, of dwindling numbers, of great nostalgia, of being alone, of being left behind... It's funny how all things come in a series of events. Unfortunate or not. And it's not like you finish this bunch, you finish up the quota for the rest of your life. Life does seem just like chapters of goodbyes, doesn't it? Maybe except this one, it's a whole chapter of goodbyes.

Yet, I am starting to feel this stage of my life that I have to learn how to say them - with love, with grace, with gratitude.

I should not perhaps consider each chapter as a goodbye; that just seems too one-dimensional. For a start, if one looks at it as chapters of meetings, then the goodbyes are merely endings, leading on to the next chapter of reunion. Or as chapters of events, good and bad. That forms a story. Your life. Sadness in parting brings out the anticipation and glee in reunion. Bittersweet. It makes you treasure your present, or at least the few months leading up to the departure. If they care, you are given time to prep till the moment, because they know it's hard for both persons, and because they know you care too. So I guess, these moments also make you realize who cares.

So for now, I am going to just cherish my times with my dear friends. I am happy for them, that they are moving on to further greatness in life. I am glad I got to know these awesome people. Sometimes, I wish I have known them a little more. But alas, that's how life is. Some leave deeper footprints than others, but sadness, and hope, lingers all the same.

control

儅你發現其實很多事情都不在你掌控之中的時候：

1）你首先開始煩躁-對周遭的一切一切感到憤怒，失望。你想對身邊的事與物抓狂。。。
**吼~~~~~！

2）然後你驚覺，其實更對自己的無能，無助感到無比的憤怒。。。你想找個陰暗的腳落放肆地哭，抑或找個熱鬧的場所，讓自己迷失，讓自己墮落。。。
**只要自己消失就好,哪裏都無所謂

3）良久，開始漸漸進入一種“似理性非理性”狀態。整個人理性化；對準一個目標，前進。。。
**只要騗得過自己就能瞞天過海

4）心情開始沉澱。開始覺得自己爲何會做出那些愚蠢的舉動，萌出那些有的沒的。身邊的人與事逐漸染囘從前的顔色。
**深呼吸，接納，活著就是多麽美好的事

誰沒遇到任何不順心的事。很多時候，縂覺得關鍵在於如何濃縮這四個階段？又或著，在於你花多少時間完成每個階段？

匆匆跨過，抑或慢慢沉溺。。。難道你真能控制？