Friday, April 18, 2014

Leaving and learning

Initially I was gonna call this "Another one bites the dust". But I guess my love for alliteration took over; it's less morbid and more pertinent anyway.

With GG finishing his PhD in 3.5 yrs (*envious*) and leaving for London, A is moving back to Singapore, K back to Texas, M is leaving for his dream job in CaliLA, J leaving in a foreseeable future, EK is going off to a faculty position, I thought my life would not be ruffled by goodbyes, at least not for a while. As life has it, LA told me over lunch she is moving with her boss to Philly in a year!

I am sad to say goodbyes. Scared. The feeling of being ditched, of dwindling numbers, of great nostalgia, of being alone, of being left behind... It's funny how all things come in a series of events. Unfortunate or not. And it's not like you finish this bunch, you finish up the quota for the rest of your life. Life does seem just like chapters of goodbyes, doesn't it? Maybe except this one, it's a whole chapter of goodbyes.

Yet, I am starting to feel this stage of my life that I have to learn how to say them - with love, with grace, with gratitude.

I should not perhaps consider each chapter as a goodbye; that just seems too one-dimensional. For a start, if one looks at it as chapters of meetings, then the goodbyes are merely endings, leading on to the next chapter of reunion. Or as chapters of events, good and bad. That forms a story. Your life. Sadness in parting brings out the anticipation and glee in reunion. Bittersweet. It makes you treasure your present, or at least the few months leading up to the departure. If they care, you are given time to prep till the moment, because they know it's hard for both persons, and because they know you care too. So I guess, these moments also make you realize who cares.

So for now, I am going to just cherish my times with my dear friends. I am happy for them, that they are moving on to further greatness in life. I am glad I got to know these awesome people. Sometimes, I wish I have known them a little more. But alas, that's how life is. Some leave deeper footprints than others, but sadness, and hope, lingers all the same.


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