Most of the time when I am alone, I can't shake off the feeling that I am being watched constantly. Like somebody will creep up behind you and whisper death in your ears.
I remembered after a few months I was conscripted into the army, my platoon sergeant once asked the platoon cynically if anybody in the room actually imagined the worst scenario unfolding. I was probably the only person who answered yes. I remembered I told everybody I imagined myself being shot in crossfires or me shooting somebody else and how much of the gore and how painful of a gunshot wound might come after.
Sometimes I feel as if I wander at the brink of depression.