silver lining at Duerfe
Went down to Stustadt today. Went to return Ian his coat and to visit Deen as well. Jari incidentally just arrived!! He came back from Finland!! Oh he looks just the same still haha... So Jari, Deen and Maria, and me went out to have dinner only to be caught in a Gewitter. The kind with flashes of lightning, the kind with torrents (and really I mean torrents of rain), the kind with the sloshing winds and this time the kind with dropping ice pieces, the kind we have been experiencing for the past few nights, the kind that I told myself I was so lucky to be in the balm of my room... Lucky I wrapped my external harddisk in plastic bag...Reached home, listening to my favourite song now: "In the Sun". Just downloaded the many versions of it by Joseph Arthurs, Michael Stipe and Chris Martin from Coldplay. And reading blogs from Kat, from Xinli, from Ian, from so many people. Then was speaking to Zhang Ning online using Hanyu pinyin (!!!), for about an hour. Jialin called as well. Had a short chat. I suddenly realised, it's gonna be the last time till a very long time later that I am gonna see so many people here. Jari, Maria, Konrad, Guokun, Zhang Ning, Philip, Petya, Jean... The very nice people I have met here, Profs, tutors and all the strangers I met on the streets that talked to me, that conversed with me like we have known each other. Then I remembered, it really is the last time I gonna see Ian, before we all see each other back in Singapore. And even then, we might not be seeing each other very much.
All of a sudden, there was this wave of nostalgia... My heart wrenched... Funny isn't it? I never knew this feeling.
People attachments. Those that make you go all weird and gooey inside. Then you start to remember, as the song rolls on and the photos flashed by, all the outings and mirth that came from it, all the chilling-out at Coffee cafes, all the things we do on the trains, all the late night talks, all the nights when we all just sat there talking about trivialities or not talking at all, just enjoying company of one another...
I think I gonna miss it all. Miss them all. Miss everything.
When we all return to our individual real lives back in Singapore, and get on with our lives, get entangled in our day-to-day hassles, and started to blend into the background, into mere statistics, I wonder, just wonder what will become of these memories. Do they stay deep-rooted, missed, and stay in status quo, or do they grow, gnaw and develop into something else?
For a moment, you don't know whether you want to turn back time or want to go on.
But I guess, it is such moments that make you feel satisfied, feel sweet, feel joyous, feel strong to go on, that you have lived, among friends. That your memory will live in them too. That life is still full of good things after all. A little sad, perhaps that good things dun last as long as you wanted them to be, but they stay good.
To those thoughts, I thank all the people I love and love me in my life. I thank all the close and good friends and strangers that shaped and still shaping my life.
And I am just thankful that I am walking this world with all of you.
2 comments:
nice entry! well, I guess we can all understand that feeling very well at this point of time =) I guess regardless how long time passes, memory is something that never really leave one person. The most, it just gets lost somewhere in the mind for a while. Sooner or later, it'll be found again. No worries.
that was a very emotive one. yeah i guess it's difficult to leave the people you've grown accustomed to and to people who you see day in, day out. am still counting down to our meetup back in Sgp man! hope you are doing well and exams are well over. take care pal! =)
-rus
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